Personal philosophy

      Through out my 17 years of life so far, I've come to believe at this moment to live your life. Your bound to make mistakes on the way, but don't let your mistakes keep you from living your life. Rather than sitting at home, enjoy it while you can. All through middle school to now, I look back at how I was before and think, "Wow, I've really changed over the years. I've sure have made a lot of stupid mistakes in the past. The beginning of my sophomore year, I became really close friends with a girl almost everyone disliked. I actually got to know her and she wasn't as bad as everyone thought she was. Eventually we became the best of friends. Finishing each other's sentences to sending each other derp pictures. We were constantly going to each other's houses and telling each other everything. By the end of sophomore year, towards the beginning of summer, we started to drift apart. For some unknown reason I still don't know to this day. We got into a huge fight over the summer about how she thought I've changed and she didn't like it. How I was never there for her anymore. I was literally always there for her, which was total bullshit. Our texts turned into one word replies, our bios on instagram changed. All of a sudden, I've heard things how she's been going around telling people my secrets. I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing. But apparently it was true.  I was lost without my best friend beside me. She left when I needed her most. We weren't friends for a good 8 months. I was filled with so much hatred and resentment towards her that I fell into a depression. And every time I saw her, I felt like punching her from afar. For a couple of months, I went a little "boy crazy." I couldn't sleep, or focus on school. I smiled when I needed too, just to put on a show. I cried a lot, I was always alone. And in between those times, I’ve made a lot of mistakes that I really regret now. My best friend now, she tried to help me through it at the time, but I wouldn't budge. I was too stubborn to care about anything. Finally, during the socal trip, I realized something. I realized that there was no point in holding a grudge against my ex BFF. Yeah, she kind of ruined my reputation, but for me, I don't care what others think of me. I realized that she's only human and we all aren't perfect. We all make mistakes and  we can learn from them. Whether if it takes hours, days or months. I've learned that being depressed and not focusing on school for a better future was a disappointment.  It really isn’t worth it. It will mess you up, but with the right people there helping you lead the way, you will be able to move on with your life. Maybe not exactly forgiving, but being the bigger person and moving on from your mistakes and theirs. I've learned to forgive but never forgetting. To always live life to the fullest. I’ve also learned not to depend on people too much. People will come and go, those who are your real friends will stay. You know who your real friends are by the way they treat you or how often they are there for you. Trust is a big word. And is always taken advantage of. I now know to not trust so easily, but don’t let your fears of trusting someone take over for the rest of your life. Keep guarded, but not so much to the point when you’re shutting everyone out of your life and will be alone.